Misguided Ghosts
by xxtisheryxx
Summary: Instead of leaving Spike at the end of Chosen, Buffy stays behind and both are consumed by the fire.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Okay so here goes. **

**First for anyone who is reading my other story (For Jackie and Hyde) I want to say sorry. I know I need to be working on that but, this idea came to me and I felt like I HAD to get it out. I'm still working on it, I promise!**

**Second, this is a Spuffy story, starting from the end of the series and going A/U from there. It will be a slight crossover with Angel season 5, and will have some VERY minor stuff from the comics. That is my warning to all of you.**

**Third, I own nothing. This is just for some good fun and for me to get my ideas out of how I would have maybe liked to see things end. So, ya know...Please don't get mad ;)**

**Summery: Instead of leaving Spike at the end of Chosen, Buffy stays behind where both are consumed by the fire.  
**

**Prologue**:

She slowing reached out and firmly grabbed hold of his hand, lacing her fingers through his. Her eyes were filling with tears and she found it was getting hard to see. She forced herself to focus on his though, loving the look of wonder on his facing when his grip tightened around hers. Time seemed to stop in that moment. Had Faith run by? She couldn't be sure of anything going on anymore; the only thing that mattered was him.

He could feel it, he could feel his soul and in true Spikeness he'd made a joke about it stinging. For the first time since all of this started Buffy felt real fear. He wasn't going to make it. Spike wasn't going to make it out of here and that was her fault. She'd given him the necklace, she'd told him he was the champion they needed and now where their hands were clamped together a fire had ignited. Literally. They were supposed to have so much more time than this. They were supposed to all walk out of here and away from this hell hole they'd made a home for the last 7 years. This was Spike. He couldn't die, not yet…She still had so much to say to him, they still had so much to figure out together.

"I love you…"

If she thought the look on his face when she'd grasped his hand was one of wonder, the look he gave her when she spoke those words, finally spoke them after he'd waited so long, was as if she'd given him the key to the gates of heaven. It only lasted a moment before understanding replaced it, a cold understanding and he gave her a lazy smirk.

"No you don't…But thanks for sayin' it."

She opened her mouth to protest but the world shook around them. Spike made to pull his hand away but Buffy only held on tighter. He gave her a stern look and tried to pull away again but still she refused to let go.

"Go on! Get out of here Buffy!!" his voice was commanding but gentle. He knew what was happening. He knew what this was. This was his out, his ending and he had accepted that but Buffy? She had done this so all of them could live and that included herself. He was making this sacrifice so she could live, get the hell out of here and have a real chance at life without death looming around every corner. He'd lived his life well and long, he'd fought the good fight and the bad fight. He'd been evil and he'd been somewhere in between. He'd learned the real meaning of love and had endured the suffering it could bring. The only thing left for him was this, to go out with a big bang with some meaning to it. "I wanna see how it ends."

Spike started to close his eyes, the burning sensation that had started in his chest was beginning to spread and he planned on replaying Buffy's confession of love in his mind until he was dust, wanting the last thing he saw to be her beautiful green eyes but he realized before his eyes even closed he was already staring into her green pools. She was still there. Why hadn't she left? He'd told her to get out, what the bloody hell was she doing?

"Go…" Spike muttered desperately, he couldn't watch her die, not again, not when he was doing this so they could all live.

Instead of letting go though, Buffy kept a firm grip on his hand while learning forward and brushing her lips against his. She had abandoned him too many time in their life together and she wasn't about to allow this be another one of those times. If he died, she was going to die with him. It may have been a bit dramatic but it was the truth and in regretful understanding at what she was saying without words, Spike's left arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her as close as he could, deepening their kiss and giving her hand he held a quick squeeze.

Then there was pain. Of course during any shared moment of theirs there had to be some kind of pain, but this was unlike anything either had ever felt. It tore at their skin, their souls; it was suffocating, consuming everything. There was nothing but pain. Both bit their tongue so as not to scream from the sensation but found it was all for nothing. As soon as the pain began, it ceased and was replaced with nothing. It wasn't a numb feeling, they still clung to one another and both could feel that. There just simply wasn't any more pain; it was like…It was like…

"Oh God."

Shocked green eyes met confused blue.

"Oh God…"


	2. Pain is just a simple compromise

**A/N: K, so my little disclaimer thingy is in the prolouge so let's get that outta the way now.**

**Here is the first real chapter to this story. I just finished it, much like I had just finished the other one. I'm trying my best to get all this out there before I lose the idea or what all. Since I'm a night owl...That helps. So anyways, I hate asking for reviews. Seriously I do, I write stories so people can enjoy them but if you would like to review, or tell me if I've mucked something up, or tell me if I'm just wasting my time with the story and it's all much too much or much too wonky or whatever please, PLEASE feel free too. Haha, I do hope people are liking the story though, it's got some hits already so that's good I think. Anyways. Please enjoy! Oh, also as a side note, I'm using Paramore's Misguided Ghosts' lyrics for the chapter names and of course story name. It's off their new CD...Pretty kick ass I must say. Anyways, so there is a disclaimer for that too, I do not own the song it's all the band man.  
**

**_Pain is just a simple compromise:_**

If there was one thing Xander Harris was sure of, only one thing in the whole wide world, it would be the fact that he was a very simple being. Give him the basic things in life and he would be happy. He knew he wasn't the smartest guy in the world and he was okay with that. He knew there were times he lacked, well, tact. He liked to believe as the years passed he'd grown a bit out of that but some how knew it'd always be who he was. He liked his jokes and it was his way of dealing with pretty much any situation.

There was no joke to deal with this situation though, there were no words at all. He had his arm wrapped around Willow's waist as she buried her face in the crook of his neck and sobbed. To his left Dawn stood hugging herself while Giles rested a hand on her shoulder and used his other to cover his mouth. They all stared at the same shocking sight and drawing the same heart breaking conclusion. Where Sunnydale once resided was a bottomless crater, just a huge gaping hole that had once been his home town. Where he was born, where he was raised, where he'd met the people who had helped him become the man he was today and now there was nothing left of it. His eyes made their way over the group, a sob rising in his throat.

It was real. Anya was gone, oh God she was really gone. Andrew had told him she'd died saving him but it wasn't until this moment, seeing the giant hole they'd all just made it out of and her not standing with them that he was forced to believe it. She was really dead, he had just gotten her back and now she was dead. The sob finally escaped him and he gasped for air. No, no she couldn't be dead. They were supposed to have their happy ending! They were supposed to make it out alive, get married and have little Xanders and Anyas running around driving them crazy but loving every moment of it. He'd seen it, he'd seen it every time he'd looked at her since getting back together and for once the thought didn't terrify him. Why hadn't he told her that? Why hadn't he told her everything she made him feel, made him want and need?

Oh, that's right. Because he was a simple being and in being so he'd figured they'd all make it out alive. He wouldn't allow the thought that any of them might not survive this, he knew there was a chance sure but he hadn't allowed the thought to even cross his mind. Not until now and now it was too late.

"I told her to hurry up..." someone was muttering from behind Xander and he glanced back to see Faith on her knees and shaking, "I told her to get out of there. She wouldn't listen to me though, she wouldn't listen! She just stared at him…Why wouldn't she listen to me?!"

It had to be the most emotion he'd ever seen from Faith in all the time he'd known her. She was off her knees now and running toward the crater, screaming and cursing Buffy's name.

Buffy. Oh God Buffy! He realized his blond best friend hadn't crossed his mind once, not since they'd had their own kind of goodbye before the battle. All of his thoughts had been on his Anya and now really looking at everyone he knew they hadn't been sharing the same thoughts as his. No, Willow was sobbing because of Buffy. Dawn was near catatonic because of Buffy. Giles was rushing forward to grab Faith who'd lost her grip because of Buffy. Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. She wasn't here. She wasn't standing with them, the people she had lead to this victory, the people who were her friends and her family and who depended on her more than any one person should have the burden of. Like Anya she was somewhere in that gaping hole and she wasn't coming back.

No, that couldn't be true. Any moment her hand would be reaching up from the edge, she would be crying for a little boost up and then she would be okay because this was Buffy and they couldn't lose Buffy. Not again, not after the last time. They'd done everything so she wouldn't have to die. They'd activated the other slayers so everyone had a fighting chance to live and she had promised they would. She promised.

"She promised." He heard himself saying.

"Oh Xander!" Willow gasped before more sobs over took her.

Giles had Faith in his embrace trying his best to calm her down but she was still screaming, something about telling Buffy to hurry and her not listening, something about staring at him and not listening. Xander felt as if he'd been punched in the gut.

"Spike…" he whispered, or so he thought but it must have been a loud whisper because it was heard over the sobbing and screaming coming from the two women. Everyone stopped. It was almost as if the world itself stopped turning. All at once everyone, except for Faith who had stopped screaming and was instead just sobbing and muttering, realized that the peroxide vampire was missing as well.

"I told her…I told her…" Faith kept muttering.

"Faith…Faith you must listen to me." Giles' voice was soothing yet clearly stern, "You must tell me what happened down there Faith…What happened to Buffy?"

Her name being spoken was like nails on a chalkboard, a shiver crept its way down Xander's spine and he shivered with it. This wasn't right, it wasn't right at all. They weren't supposed to suffer a loss over her like this again, not for a long time. Isn't that why they brought her back? So that she could live her full life, Slayer expiration date be damned.

"Faith!" the rouge slayer had kept muttering after Giles' first attempt, ignoring him all together and staring at the crater. The former watcher now had a firm grip on each of her biceps and gave her a gentle shake, "You must tell me. What. Happened?"

"I told her…" she bit her lip, still not looking at anyone, only the crater, "I told her Giles I did. Everything was shaking, everything was coming down around us and she was just staring at him. It all happened so damn fast man! One second we were all fighting and the next there was a blinding light. It…it was coming from Spike," she had everyone's attention, hanging on every word she was saying. "Or the necklace, whatever it was it took everything down there out and he called for her and she ran to him and GOD why didn't she listen to me?!" Faith broke down into sobs again, falling to her knees, Giles too stunned at her confession to support her any longer.

"She…She stayed behind for Spike?" It was Dawn who spoke, the first words since getting off the bus and her voice quivered with them. At the same time Xander and Willow rushed toward the young girl, who in all rights was their own sister, both wrapping her in bone crushing embraces. The girl shrugged them off though. "Why?" she cried out before running forward much like Faith had but was much too quick for anyone to catch.

"This isn't happening again!" Dawn screamed at the edge of the hole, "She wouldn't leave me again! She knows that I need her…I need her damn it! BUFFY!!! BUFFY!!!"

Somehow seeing Dawn break down, somehow seeing her clinging onto the false hope that he himself had just been holding onto a moment ago seemed to just bring the point home. Buffy was gone. Buffy was dead again and she had done so to stay behind with Spike. Xander's arms fell helplessly to his sides as Willow ran to the teenager before the girl could do anything too foolish.

The rest of the group had gathered outside the bus, two girls were supporting the injured Wood while some were holding up one another as they cried. At some point Andrew had moved to help Willow with the distraught girl but still Xander stood helplessly watching it all unfold around him. In the back of his mind he registered that someone had placed a hand on his arm, Kennedy maybe, but his body wouldn't allow him to respond. Dawn was sobbing, Faith was shaking on the ground in Giles' embrace, who had gathered himself enough to help the woman and it was all just too much for Xander.

Anya. Buffy. All the young girls who hadn't made it out alive. It was all…Too...Much.

One moment he was standing watching his world unravel around him, the next moment he was a heap on the ground, surrounded in blackness.

~*~*~

"Xander…Xander we need you to wake up please, we're here."

Xander batted away the hand that gently shook him. He was having the most wonderful dream about Anya modeling a very skimpy two piece and he'd be damned if he was going to wake up from that right now to do some silly slayer training. Some things were just more important.

The person wouldn't stop though and finally with a groan Xander opened his eye, God he wondered if he'd ever get used to that, and found Willow hovering over him. Her eyes were red, puffy and swollen. Had she been crying? Why had Willow been crying? She looked a bit dirty too, the tears she seemed to have cried leaving tracks among the dirt coating her face. With concern he reached his hand out to cup her face, about to ask her just what the hell he'd missed while sleeping and if she was okay when it all came rushing back to him.

The First. The battle. Spike causing Sunnydale to be sucked into a bottomless crater. Anya dead. Buffy dead.

It all came rushing back and slapped him in the face, one unbearable truth at a time. He was crying then and Willow had him in her arms rocking him while whispering soothing words into his ear. He wasn't sure what they were, there was no one word that could ever be soothing right now, that could ever make what happened okay so he ignored what she was attempting to say and instead just cried like no grown man should be seen crying.

Hours must have passed with the two of them like that, each crying into the other's shirt in the back of the bus. It didn't matter much to be honest, all that mattered was that Anya was dead, Buffy was gone and for some twisted reason they were all still alive. How could the Fates be so cruel? How could they give him back so much only to rip away once he'd realized how great it was to have it? It wasn't fucking fair!

"They're waiting for us inside." Willow finally said after God knows how long.

"It wasn't just a bad dream Willow? It really wasn't?" He wasn't sure why he asked, he knew it wasn't but he guessed somewhere deep inside he was still holding onto some foolish hope that this was all just their worst fears living in some nightmarish form. Hey…It's happened before hadn't it?

But this wasn't before, this was now and with Willow's regretful shaking head the last nail in his coffin of hope was hammered down. He's almost expected more tears but with a shaky breath he pulled himself and Willow up. Tears weren't going to change this, tears weren't going to send him back in time so he could say everything he needed to; tears weren't going to bring about a better way for this all to have ended with everyone alive and happy. Buffy wouldn't have wanted them to wallow and pity the chance they'd all been given. She'd said as much the last time she'd died and as much as they'd like to trick themselves into believing, they hadn't honored her wishes then and he'd be damned if he'd let everyone disappoint her again.

"Where are we?" Xander asked in a raspy voice, causing him to wonder once again just how long they'd been out there.

"Oh um…Wolfram and Hart. Angel's team kinda yah know, run things here now I guess."

"Wait, isn't that the evil law firm who is hell bent on, well…Just about anything evil and hellish?" At Willow's nod Xander sighed, "and Evil Undead and his merry gang are running the joint now?" another nod from Willow, this time with a slight smile, "Well what a wonderful day this is turning out to be huh? Guess we better get inside before they start to worry too much. You ready?

He didn't wait for her to respond, knowing full well that neither of them would ever really be ready to face the outside world after everything. Instead he pulled himself up, then her and the two made their way out of the bus and into the building.

He had to admit the place was nice. Very high class and clearly a pretty well respected place. Well, as respected an evil law firm with demon clients could be respected anyways. As they made their way down a few random halls and ended up in an elevator listening to some cheesy version of a Bon Jovi song Xander realized how desired this place must seem from the outside. To someone who didn't know the whole story anyways. How was it that Angel came into power with this place, he wondered and how was it that the thought of Angel didn't leave that bad taste in his mouth like it used to?

Too lost in his own thoughts Xander didn't really notice much around him as the elevator doors slid open with a ding and he stepped out, running right into someone who had been rushing by. Papers flew into the air and there was a loud squeal, followed by a curse, followed by someone screeching his last name.

"HARMONY?!" Xander all but yelled once he noticed just who he'd knocked to the floor. The blond vampire was attempting to gather the fallen papers between shooting him nasty glares and thankful nods to Willow as the witch handed papers she was helping to gather. "What are YOU doing here?" he gasped, still shocked to see his former annoying classmate turned annoying vampire.

"I WORK here doofus! The better question is what are YOU doing here?" Harmony said with a sneer. With her papers all gathered she fixed her attention on giving Xander a 'if looks could kill' glare.

"Work here? What? Whoring yourself out to live in bad boy vamps' crypts not workin out for you anymore?"

"Xander!" Willow scolded before putting a comforting arm around the now crying vampire.

"What I say? It wasn't that bad, I mean it's not like it's not something doesn't already…know." Realization dawned on Xander. Well, he never said he was the quickest person out there, did he? "Spike…You're crying about SPIKE?" He didn't even want to think about that damned vampire right now. Thinking about Spike meant thinking about Buffy and thinking about Buffy meant thinking about why she wasn't here and thinking about why she wasn't here meant thinking about why Anya wasn't here.

"He was once my boyfriend Xander." Harmony muttered with a sniffle.

"Yeah, a boyfriend who was in love with Buffy the whole time he was with you. Great guy there Harm." He scoffed with sarcasm. It seemed to have his desired effect too, Harmony dropped the papers she'd just finished picking up, spat a heartfelt 'jerk' and rushed down one of the many halls sobbing.

"Xander!" Willow scolded again, this time her arms crossed over her chest and a stern look in her eyes.

"I don't wanna hear it Will. Not right now."

He crossed his arms over his chest as well, daring her to challenge him. The two best friends stared one another down until Willow sighed and nodded her head. This wasn't the time, not for petty things like his insulting an old classmate. Without saying a word Willow turned and made her way down the opposite hall that Harmony had taken. It didn't really occur to him to ask how she knew where she was going. Maybe she'd already been up here while he was passed out. Maybe it was just one of the many Witchy Willow things she could do. Instead he just did was he did best, he followed. Soon enough they ended up at large double doors where they could hear an argument of sorts going on behind.

"I just think you should have mentioned it is all. I mean you didn't really give us any reason why you were back and not off fighting the good fight. Just that Buffy had it covered and to not worry." A voice Xander didn't recognize was saying.

"I didn't think it was important." Responded a voice Xander knew all too well.

"And it's not. There are more pressing matters at hand. This is a silly thing to be bickering over." That one was Giles. Xander shot Willow a confused glance but only got an equally confused shrug before she opened one of the doors and made her way in.

The room went quiet as the two entered and without having to look Xander knew every eye in the room were now on them. He smiled a little to himself, maybe if he started thinking as eyes as individual things rather than sets it'd help him deal just a little better. Glancing around the room he saw there were only three faces he knew. Angel sat on the edge of a large desk, arms crossed and looking more than a little stressed. Standing next to him was Wesley, an older, less dorky looking Wesley, Xander noted. To the left of the room Giles was standing next to one of the large windows and giving a concerned fatherly type of smile. Xander waved to the man, letting him know that both he and Willow were fine.

His eye roamed over the other three in the room. The three he didn't know. One was a tall green demon with bright red eyes and two matching red horns coming from his forehead. If it weren't for the large smile on the guy's face Xander was pretty sure he would have been pretty damn uncomfortable…Well more so than he already was. The other two were a man and woman. The man a bald head, dark skin and wore a fancy looking suite. Xander would have guessed lawyer seeing as where they were but the air the man gave off just didn't scream lawyer. No the man reminded him more of those solider types they were dealing two years ago. Like he knew how to kill you more ways than you could count on your hand and had just as many ways of hiding your remains without ever being caught. Xander made a mental note not to mess with the guy. The last was the woman, who sat on the arm of one of the chairs in front of Angel's desk and smiled kindly, giving a quick wave at Willow. She had long brown hair and some of the sweetest eyes he'd ever seen.

"Harris…You have an eye patch." Xander tuned to look at Angel, whose expression matched his voice. Confused and slightly amused.

"Yeah, know how they tell you 'Careful or you'll poke your eye out'? I'll never take that lightly again"

The vampire snickered and was shot two disapproving looks from the women in the room. It was the brown haired one who scolded the man though, "Angel! I'm sorry, I'm sure you already know he has no manners. I'm Fred. That's Gunn and that's Lorne," the men waved and nodded when acknowledged, "I'm so sorry to hear about your loss." For a moment Xander thought she was talking about his eye and was about to laugh, man he'd been around Anya too much, but it dawned on him that's just who she was talking about. Not his eye, but his Anya. Anya who was gone. Anya who was now seen as a loss. With a quick nod of thanks Xander choose to look at everything in the room but the people, who still seemed to be staring at himself and Willow.

"When we were coming in, we uh, we heard something about pressing matters?" Willow glanced over to Giles, hoping the man would help her steer the conversation away from the awkward standstill it was at now.

"Ah, yes. Willow is right. Now that everyone is here I dare say it's time we work out some sort of strategy. Research as much as we can and if we can find if there are any simple answers before we do anything drastic."

"Wait. Strategy? Research? For what? What did we miss?"

At Willow's questions the room went quiet once more. Xander hated the quiet, it reminded him of that time with the Gentlemen but what he hated even more than that was when people stuttered and stumbled over themselves trying to come up with an easy blow answer. It never ended well, there was never good news once someone finally figured out what to say and that's just what everyone in the room was suddenly doing, that was until Angel found the right thing to say and just like Xander had guessed…It didn't lead to something good. No, far from. Because he'd heard it before and as wonderful as it sounded then he knew how wrong it was now, he knew how unfair and twisted and how like playing God it was now.

"We're bringing Buffy back."


	3. A Broken Heart and Some Twisted Minds

**A/N: I would like to first thank EVERYONE who is reading this story, I'm trying to get this updated at least every day to two days however things got a little busy these last few days. Cousin got a two week leave from Iraq so we had a little party for her and I was away from the computer. I would also like to thank those of you who have reviewed. Thank you SO very much.**

**I've had some questions about the story, now of course I won't be telling any of you what's going to happen because really what would be the fun in that? I would like to let you know though that this story is going to have many POV (and be a bit longer than I first thought) and you will be getting both a Buffy AND a Spike POV, most likely more than one. I'll be tying in Angel season 5 as well I promise and it will be easy enough to follow. Another thing, I do love Angel...I just don't like him with Buffy. I love Angel and Cordy together, if he seems like a bad guy at all in this chapter I'm sorry, I wanted him to come across as desperate and unaccepting of what has happened. If it upsets anyone I am sorry, he'll be more Angelish in later chapters I promise. Uhh...I think that's all I have to say. Once again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND REVIEWING! I hope you enjoy this chapter. I don't own Buffy, Angel or the song Misguided Ghosts.  
**

_**A Broken Heart and Some Twisted Minds:**_

Anger. Rage. Betrayal. Loss. Hate.

Dawn couldn't pin point just what emotion she was feeling the most at the moment. Everyone had always made cracks about her crazy teenage hormones and how quickly her emotions would change but they'd never been quite like this. She was on a rollercoaster that just didn't want to stop. She felt like she was crushing under the pressure of it all. It had all started when she realized Buffy was really gone, again, and it was by her own choice, again. It was the Slayer's job to save the world at all costs and Buffy had died three times now doing so. Dawn was spared the first time, she hadn't been there like Xander and Angel had been but she was there for the second time. She watched her sister swan dive off the tower so that Dawn could keep living. Only months after she'd lost her mother Dawn had to lose her sister too.

The pain of all that was crushing like this was. She felt like she didn't have any family left, sure, she had her father but he was never around and when he was he didn't seem to care much about his daughters. She had almost thought about trying to bring Buffy back like she did Joyce but Spike had stomped that thought right out of her mind the second he had any hint of what she was thinking. Spike knew how bad it would have been to do something like that; he knew how that could back fire right in her face. So Dawn made due with what she was given, she would curl up with the Buffy Bot at night and let herself pretend her sister was still there, even if just for those few hours. Then the Scoobies did the unthinkable and changed everything. Buffy was back but she wasn't the same Buffy anymore and she never really was again. They ripped the Slayer from Heaven and everyone had to carry the weight of that on their shoulders.

Now as Dawn walked the halls of W&H, her mind racing far too much for sleep, she was suffering the loss of her sister yet again. This time felt different than the last though, she couldn't tell if it felt worse or better but she knew it was different. As selfish as it was, Dawn just couldn't help but feel a bitter betrayal toward Buffy and her choice to stay behind with Spike. Dawn wasn't the stupid little girl everyone wanted to believe she was. She had eyes, she could see what was going on between Buffy and Spike and she also knew it wasn't just because of his soul that was causing it. Buffy wasn't the same after Spike left, at first Dawn thought it was because of what the vampire had almost done to her but when Spike came back some kind of switch flipped within Buffy, she became more attentive and driven.

Dawn had over heard an argument between Giles and Buffy one day about Spike, the former Watcher scolded Buffy, telling her how the vampire and Slayer depended on one another. That the connection was clouding her judgment and Dawn couldn't help but silently agree. She didn't want to agree, Dawn still hadn't forgiven Spike for what he'd done to her sister, she wasn't sure she ever could but she couldn't deny what Giles had said. Even if the two weren't dating anymore they still depended on one another. Then when Dawn had heard that Buffy felt Spike was the only one who had her back, well that was like a knife in the gut. No matter what her sister may have said about not loving the vampire, her actions always told another story.

Her actions like staying behind as Sunnydale was swallowed whole, stayed behind because Spike had to stay behind. The vampire may have saved the world, he may have been the reason they won the battle but he was also the reason Dawn was now feeling the aching loss of her sister once again. This time for good. Yet Dawn knew she couldn't put the full blame on Spike, Buffy choose to stay behind. Buffy choose death because Spike choose death. There was that rollercoaster of emotions again, one second angry at Spike, the next Buffy, the next hating them both, and then hating herself for hating them. It was all just too much for the teenager.

With the cloud of confusion fogging her thoughts Dawn was surprised she was still able to notice the yelling coming from behind one of the office doors as she wandered down the halls. She knew that voice and the sound of it rose in anger caused to her stop in her tracks to press an ear to the door.

"What do you mean 'bring her back'?" Xander's muffled voice shouted.

"How can you be supporting this Giles? After the last time?" Willow was saying, she wasn't shouting but her voice carried an air of anger and hurt.

"I…I'm not sure what I support at the moment Willow. It's Buffy though, if there is a way we must look into it, for her sake."

Dawn jumped away from the door as if it had burned her. Buffy, they were talking about bringing Buffy back…Again? How could they? How could they even allow the thought to cross their minds? After everything that had happened the last time how could they think that this was at all a good idea? Dawn felt the sudden need to defend her sister, even with the confusion she was feeling over her sister's death Dawn knew that bringing her back would be a whole hell of a lotta wrong.

It was with that thought Dawn all but kicked in the office door, a surge of protective anger coursing through her veins and asked in a tone that almost gave her the shivers "You're planning on doing what to my sister?"

The room fell silent and Dawn took in every guilty expression that stared back at her, noticing that there were more in the room than she first thought.

"Dawnie," Willow was saying, "I thought you were sleeping."

"Couldn't, and I asked a question. You're planning on doing WHAT to my sister?"

Both Xander and Willow turned to look at the group, clearly planning on allowing them to explain and that's when Dawn remembered just what she'd heard the two saying. They weren't for this idea as well; much like herself this was something they'd just learned about. Still keeping her eyes on everyone else, Dawn went to stand next to the two best friends, glad she wouldn't be alone in the fight she knew was about to happen.

"I can give you something to help you sleep if you'd like Dawn." It was Fred who had said this and Dawn gave the kind woman a smile. Dawn liked her, she was one of the first to greet them when they'd all arrived and had been more then helpful getting everyone patched up and settled.

"No thank you Fred. I'd like to know what you all are planning on doing to my sister. Again. Cause see, I can't have heard right. Because what I heard, you all wanting to bring her back, that can't be right."

"Why can't it?"

Angel. Dawn had never really liked Angel. She wasn't sure what it was, she had liked Spike right off and maybe that had something to do with it. She remembered the first time she'd seen Spike, hiding at the top of the stairs as Buffy told their mother about all the things that go bump in the night being real. She'd been fascinated with Spike then and any time she'd seen him since, any time he'd spoke to her, the vampire had really listened to her. Talked to her, saw her as a person and not as the Slayer's kid sister, Angel had never done that. Angel had never taken the time to get to know Dawn and there was just something about the older vampire that Dawn disliked. His speaking to her now, like a child barging in on an adult conversation, wasn't helping matters.

"Why can't it? Because it's WRONG, that's why!"

Angel sighed, it sounded frustrated and he ran a hand over his face before looking back at Dawn and speaking, "It's Buffy, Dawn, Buffy and we can't NOT try. We just can't." He said this as if it were as simple as that, as if talking about bringing Buffy back from the dead was as simple as cleaning up a mess before it left a stain.

"And why can't we?"

"Dawn," Dawn was really getting sick of the tone he was using with her, "You're her sister. You can't tell me you don't want her back too."

Dawn had been angry before, she was human after all but she was sure she'd never felt this much passion with it. As she stared at Angel her vision was tinted with a red hue. Her fists clenched at her sides but before she could say anything back to the vampire Willow beat her to it.

"Hey! That isn't fair!"

"Yeah Evil Dead, watch what you're saying." Xander added.

"Of course I want my sister back but it doesn't mean she should be brought back. It's wrong and it's unfair to her. She made her choice. You weren't there that last time Angel; you didn't see what bringing her back did to her." Dawn was proud at how calm her voice sounded.

Angel's chest swelled at the mention of her choosing death. "She wouldn't have chosen to stay down there; she must have thought she had more time or something. She wanted to live, I know she did."

"Oh and because you think you know what she wanted, because you think you know what's best for her you're going to rip her away from where ever she is?" Dawn spat.

"What if she's in Hell now Dawn? Have you thought about that?"

"Oh don't even go there. Been there, done that." Xander said with a roll of his eye.

"Yeah," Willow sighed, "and…and we know now that Buffy is too good a person to end up anywhere but Heaven, no matter how she dies."

"Are you guys listening to yourselves? This is Buffy we're talking about! Your best friend! Your sister! How can you not want to try to bring her back?"

The three were quite for a moment before Xander spoke. "Are you going to try and bring back Anya? She died down there too."

"Or the girls who died down there fighting?"

"Or Spike?" Dawn added.

Angel gave the three a look mixed with shame and disgust. At the mention of Spike he scoffed and Dawn swore she could feel the waves of anger roll off Xander before he even voiced his heated thoughts.

"Oh! So is that it? Is this some ego trip? Buffy was able to kill you and send you to hell but she choose to stay behind with Spike and die with him, that she could go on living without you but not him?"

Xander was even slightly surprised at what he said, Dawn could tell by the expression on his face but the man still stood tall and sure with his statement. Angel jumped from his desk, a look a pure fired hate behind his eyes before Wesley's arm shot out in an attempt to calm the vampire. For the first time Dawn remembered they weren't alone in the room, the other's had been so quite she really had forgotten they were there at all.

"This had NOTHING to do with Spike." Angel said through clenched teeth and slapping Wesley's arm away.

"She made her choice to stay with him, she loved him and she made her choice. We have to respect that." Dawn crossed her arms.

Angel scoffed. "She didn't love him. He had a soul and that confused her, she cared about him but she didn't love him."

"No, no she loved him before the soul." Everyone turned to give Willow a surprised look and the witch fidgeted slightly under their gazes. "Well, um, see…We were talking the day she had that date not date with Wood, and um, she mentioned something about how she didn't get why everyone thought she was still in love with Spike. I didn't call her on it cause I knew she didn't mean to say it but…I think Spike having a soul just finally allowed her to admit to herself that she did love him, like it made it okay." Willow paused for a long moment before continuing with her thought process, "As hard as it is to admit, Buffy did love Spike. We all saw it this last year, she was connected to him in a way I don't think we can really understand."

Once again the room fell silent, each person taking in what Willow said. Though some in the room had never had the chance to meet Buffy or Spike, they'd each heard the stories. The news that the famous Slayer, the one who had captured Angel's heart, drove Wesley insane and had stopped a handful of apocalypse in her young life had fallen in love with William the Bloody, grandchilde to Angel, the same grandchilde who had tried to kill his grandsire multiple times in the last few years…Well…It was sure something to wrap their heads around.

Then Angel was laughing, it wasn't a laugh of humor though, more of a bitter chuckle. "So much for cookies huh?" the vampire said more to himself but everyone still heard and gave him a baffled look.

"So, I'm gonna go a head and say we're not going to try and bring Buffy back then?" Gunn spoke for the first time since Dawn entered the room.

"That would be correct." Giles' voice came from over by the window. "They're right, and it was wrong of me to even ponder the thought of anything other than letting her rest in peace. I may not like it, but…She made her choice and we must respect that. It is not easy to know that we've lost her again but I'd like to think she died happy, doing what she felt was best." The older man took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose before looking over to Dawn, "I am so sorry Dawn, I should not have let my grief win over my logic."

Dawn nodded once at the man then glanced over to Angel. He had walked around the back of his desk and slumped down into his chair, slightly shaking his head and Dawn felt satisfied that he too was, as reluctant as it may be, seeing reason. Both Xander and Willow wrapped arms around Dawn and she sighed, resting her head on Xander's shoulder.

With a nod to everyone else in the room, the three made their way to the door. Dawn would show the two where everyone else was resting and just maybe they could get some sleep too. Lord knew they needed it.


End file.
